Thursday, November 05, 2009

Dont Know Why..........

Dont know why.........!
Off late, i have not been sleeping well, doze off to sleep then about 4.30 am, my mind suddenly becomes active,and it will kick me up and i start thinking, worry a bit here and a bit there. Could it be Mid Life Crisis?

Dont know why........!
Suddenly i feel that happiness has been kind of slipping off my fingers, and find it hard to stay happy, again worry a bit here and a bit there, could it be because i am entering into my mid 40s?

Dont know why........!
Recently, i keep very close tab on my bank account(not much inside though) to see if i had saved enough for this and for that, to see if i could weather the financial burden if worst were to befall me, dont know why i do this, could it be that i am too hard on myself?

Dont know why......!
There is an abrupt urge in me to seek GOD, to talk to HIM to be close to HIM like i used to, but somehow or rather, something is halting me, dont know why, could it be that when you advance with age, you tend to be more spiritual?

Dont know why.......!
There is a fear in me that what would i do if i were to lose everything, my business, my this and my that, could it be this is part of the worries one faces in life when you have walked about half of century of life?

Dont know why.....!
Suddenly i have this urge of pouring out these feelings of mine here,could it be that i long for someone to hear me out, or could it be suddenly i feel so small.

Dont know why.....!
I wish i could be like Micheal J Fox, travel back in time and rewrite my life all over again,?

Dont know why.....!
I am feeling tired now

Q)What was the worst period in your life, care to share?
Q)What do you do when you are sad? (I just asked my eldest son Jovial this question, and innocently he said,, when he was sad, he would try not to think about it.)

P/S : Life has its ups and downs, may be i am at the latter now.


  1. bro...i also experienced these before though im in my late 30s. Maybe you just think too much. Why not you just work out your financial and etc. And, involved in church more then.

  2. Would you have changed anything if you had a chance to go back in time?I think you are just being stressed of all the responsibilities & commitments that comes as we grow older and of the "what ifs"...i don't know whether what you are experiencing can be considered a mid-life crisis....i think you are doing just fine..just trust in the Lord to guide you!

  3. Too many things in your mind right now, kot. Try take a step back and view the big picture

  4. I ask myself a lot of "I wonder why... " :P.

    Besides, I am sure Micheal J. Fox would love to go back to the past too himself. Would you change anything if you could? Would you want to? It is because of what happen in the past that leads you to have your kids and a beautiful wife... chances is, if you change a past, those won't exist...

  5. maybe you are too tired nowadays?

    or financial problem???

    Maybe i will have same feeling when i am 40s.

    Stressed and responsibilities.

    Maybe, you can plan have a holiday with family?

  6. Im behind ur son 100%...

    I think its juz a phase where every1 of us will go through.

    Dont over think it & Vacation helps!

  7. this is called stress..overworking your mind, eugene? at least u can rant it out here otherwise it might lead to depression... mid crisis.. hmmm.. not so sure.. i take each day at a time, besides worrying for my kids, the others can wait...
    (pssst.. eugene, maybe God is knocking at your heart, your head, your mind? HIM out!)

  8. Everyone would go through times of trial. Some BIG,some small.No matter what size it is, God allows it to resize you, brother! After all these has passed, you will see that you have gained an extra size of expereince. You have strengthened. You are wiser. God knows your trouble. He understands your yolk. Eventhough there is silence from above or God seems distance away, He is just allowing and looking from afar to test you. It's like when your kid is learning to walk, slowly he takes a step one at a time. I bet that time you were looking from a distance yet worried he would fall further and give up, but you still waited and encouraged him to walk. God works the same way. At last, your baby now can run. Here's something to encourage you:

    Psalm 88.

    88=good number eh, haha.

  9. aiya.
    dont worry..
    it's the scorpio blood in your body talking..

    the only question i asking myself all the time is..
    why today is Monday-Friday, not Sat-Sun..

  10. Girl from DownunderNovember 5, 2009 at 11:18 PM

    Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

  11. well, we worry most of the time..don't know if it's for the better or worst..anyway..keep cool..

  12. This is how life works, you will never know, sometimes you wonder why are you happy and sometimes you will asked why i am sad, but when you know the essence of being alive it is awesome! it is just need to be understood and live according to what is required....

  13. Wow.. I face that too sometimes.. T_T

  14. just have too much worries that you need to put aside. :D

  15. Thank you guys, i am learning to off load somewhat the unwarranted burdens off my shoulders..

    appreciate you guys, and God Bless

  16. Saw your title let me think of the song by Norah Jones "I Don't Know Why"...
    I am sure you will going up hills soon after the slopes. No doubt about that. Cheers!

  17. Jovial is right, try not to think about it. I have these blues too and looking back, it's a passing phase. What I used to worry about and thought was the end of everything, will eventually pass.. but a new issue always crops up and that too shall pass.
    A blogger, Shireen, inspired me, she said.. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but leads you nowhere !

  18. i have the same 1st problem...going to bed and slept soundly for the 1st half and suddenly a turn and i am all awake at 4 in the morning...and it happens for a few days in a row and at the end of it i finally could sleep til my alarm clock rings and that also i wake up before it rings...WHY?

  19. I sometimes feel all these things you're feeling too... I guess in these times, we need to run towards God more than ever, and just drop all our worries and fears at His feet =)

    When I'm sad/tired, this song comes to mind:

  20. Eugene... I wish I can console you, but I'm sad myself too. LOL... =.= too much probs, I'm getting blame for many things, etc etc, and been crying for days now. If you want someone to share your probs with, you know my number. Call me, or sms me. I'll be there for you, my friend.

    These sort of things cannot be mid life crisis la... *sigh* I'm in my twenties and yet I have same probs too... =.= life is being a bitch, and we have to fuck it! *SIGHHHHH*

    ps: Eugene, sometimes I wanted to go back to the past and make things right too, but then, I know it's impossible to turn back time. Besides, I made too many mistakes... too many problems... So I found myself wishing that I could leave everything and everyone around me and stay in a place where no one knows me. I think about this very often, as of late. I wonder if this is selfish thinking? I dunno, but you, you take care, my friend. Take care, and I really mean it when i say you can give me a call anytime.

  21. Ironically, I know for sure that the worst part of my life was over the moment my parents had passed on. Extremely sad to say, having them was the worst part of my life, but I do admit that, without that period of my life, I would not be what I am today. *wink*

    As for snapping out of sadness, I like what your kid answered. It all voice down to one thing > CHOICE!
    If you choose to dwell in it, you have it. If you choose to dump it, happiness come filling that emptiness. *Grin*

    Have a Great Weekend!

  22. you're not alone as i'm already feeling that before i hit the 30 jackpot. don;t worry so much, we aren;t gonna live forever, seize the moment!