Thursday, October 22, 2009

How true.............

While i was running in the evening and in the vicinity of my house,(my exercise ritual) yesterday, one particular chinese quote that's was pasted on the back window of a car struck me, as i ran towards the car, these chinese characters became so profound as far as i am concerned,
“原谅别人,就是善待自己" In Engslish, it simply means " to be able to forgive others, hence you are treating yourself good"

I was once in that particular situation as well (not able to forgive), a good friend cheated me of a few thousands dollars, and he only returned a small fraction of it, and i was then harbouring hatred against him, i even made malicious calls to his office in the attempt of smearing his name, and tarnishing his image, all that i really wanted to do or determined to do was to get even with him because for two to three years, he lied and eluded me that caused a lot of malaise upon me, and i really wanted to defame him, to make him go through what i went through because of him.

I remembered when i did that, i was feeling bad inside, i wanted to hurt him but instead i was not feeling at peace with myself, i was so worried, what if he really lost his job, what would happen to his family,for a few days i was just feeling bad, simply because i was not able to let go of the fact that my good friend had cheated me. Eventually,when i finally chose to let go of the fact that i was cheated by a good friend, i felt good and liberated, even now i do bump into him once in a while, he is still my friend.

We all know that, hatred is one most powerful, venomous and sometimes deadly force that can drive one to do the most unthinkable, disastrous and even fatal act, which often results in bad bad outcome.

A spurned lover would kill his/her lover just to get even, which only results in his/her taking his/her own life, or spending the rest of his/her life remorsefuliy behind bars and many more real life tragedies we have heard and still hearing with only one common cause in them................ hatred.

Life is short they say, therefore treat yourself good and let bygone be bygone. i know it is easier said than done, but if we let hatred linger on, then it will be harder done and undone. I strongly believe, one cannot enter heaven if one still harbours hatred even at his demise, even if you are the Abbot or the High Priest, there is no room for you, if there is hatred in your heart.

A true story of a good friend, she was so bitter, scornful and was always bad mouthing of her ex-husband, and for so many years, her life was full of bitterness and sorrow, it affected her works, and she could not stay long in a job, eventually she joined a so called religious group and began to let loose and let go, she is now a successful insurance agent.

Q) Is there any ill feeling or hatred that you are not able to get over with ?

A word of caution to all the married men..though


P/S : My heart is made to fill love, therefore the valves are made to pump out the hatred if i had any.


  1. Anger and hatred do blind us... So we must always be ready to forgive.

    I always tell myself, they are like that fine... but it takes that much to see a person. Let is be a lesson learnt.

  2. Yup..I'm always in the situation of being hurts. Thats make my anger and hatred accumulate. Noty easy to let it go but suffer to carry it.

    So everyday I learn to let go and forgive. Remind myself to live in peace... asked for more humble heart and strength to forgive..hehhe.. life is alesson too..

  3. i forgive easily or more precisely i give up easily on the persons who hurt me....but i cannot forget. while i dont take revenge, i cannot forget the pain this the same as if you forgive thence you are treating yourself kindly too?

  4. i have a short memory.. now i cannot recall who i hurt or who hurt me.. :) is it good or bad.. i wonder...

  5. Only love can resolve hatred. And true enough, forgive and let go are the only ways to treat yourself better. :) We'll become a better and strong person each day upon all the incidents happened no matter good or bad. Handle it well and yeah life is short. Be thankful and I do believe that no one can hurt you as you're in charge of your life! :)

  6. Well said, let bygones be bygones, better not keep in the heart!

  7. i hated my ex-boss datin principal with a mega vengence.. she blocked my promotion, demoted me and forced me out of the school n made my life hell for almost a year. i cursed n i swore and i thought at that point i would never forgive. now i know that that moment of disaster has led me to new paths and greater horizons.. so although i wont forget, i am past the anger.. and the one up there will meet out his punishments towards her nastiness in due time... ;-) i am magnanimous enough to forgive her.. there is no point dwelling on other people's idiocy! hhaha.. glad u hv learnt to let go as well.. i've also borrowed 3000 bucks to someone n that person has disappeared along with the money. god will give it back to me in other ways, i'm sure. right?

  8. very well said eugene, especially the last part!

    sometimes ppl are able to forgive, it's just the forgetting is hard to do..

  9. forgiving others who betrayed our trust or hurt our feelings is indeed the best way to free ourselves from the prison of anger and hatred. but then, forgiving others is never an easy task. i still can't do it at the moment. i'm full with hatred deep inside me. there were many times i can take sweet revenge on those culprits but i chose not to do it. there's always karma.

  10. Yes...Anger can be very powerful and it blinded and toxic the mind, where you really let your feelings controlled you and not thinking straight...
    Better to walk away and come back when u r calmer and can think straight so that you won't regret your actions!

  11. Its true, when you want to retaliate there's no peace that comes out of it, you are just adding weight to the situation..

    I love the discussion in your blog. A lot of lesson to learn.. With that, I am now following your blog.. Hope you can come around..

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  12. true indeed...

    hatred wont let our mind of that thing...u'll never have a chance to forget it. every sec & ever min of our lives seem to revolve around it. however, forgiveness lets our mind to let that thing go...thats y our heart will always be at peace.

    i've been there & done that.but now im thankful that i no longer have that hatred.

  13. A good writ up bro. :) Yupe sometimes in order to travel light and calm we need to forgive and forget.

    Don't worry. I only have one penis and it is already taken! LOL :D Gosh 18sx comment!

  14. Anyway have a wonderful wednesday bro. I have just "roti canai" you. :p

  15. i still have anger for someone i know, and up till now i dont know how to handle it, i really want to kill him whenever i saw him, i punch him once and i will punch him again, because of him i got a heart attack, how can i overcome this! i dont know

  16. i used to keep hatred and turn it into vengeance :(

    ... but now i'm getting better which means i don't keep hatred in my heart anymore.

    save your penis? haha the sentence make me horny :P

  17. Did you read my ponderings on forgiveness? Well, I would like to iterate again, that the benefits of forgiveness are for ourselves, and not for anyone else.

  18. well..forgive n forget..otherwise..u r only hurting yrself..

  19. Nice post, Eugene. Yes, it is true, we cannot hate someone without hurting ourself, especially our health and ultimately our health. It is better to love than hate, so forgiving is always good.

    I am also learning to forgive people as I know they are not perfect. Life is too short.

  20. For me I find it easier said to forgive than actually doing it.

  21. OH I agree with you!! check out my wonderful testimonial post on 26th of October!! I got it done, and has schedule to be posted at 10am!! I am sure you gonna be happy for me after you read it!! so, must come to my blog ah...

  22. It is difficult to let go of everything because spitefulness is what makes us stronger sometimes. I will always try to forgive and forget, but if the same person done a horrible thing to me twice, I think i'm in a position to teach that someone a lesson. Having said that, I do promote forgiveness to my kids hoping the world they live in would be abetter place. X

  23. Thank you guys for making me your friend, albeit we have never met, but i know who care, likewise i do to.

    appreciate your comments and the effort of writing it here, just love you guys for that.