Friday, June 19, 2009

When mom cries or rather grandmom cries....

My mom is already in her mid 70s, like i said before, as a matriach of the family, just when i thought that she could be or should be enjoying her "chen fook" or in English be blissful after all those toiling years of her life, guess i was dead wrong, let me share with you why.

Received a phone call from by mom as i was driving to see some customers, her voice on the other end was interrupted with chokes and i could sense that she was sobbing a little here and there and she told me that one of her many grandsons just called her and confided in her that his business has been taken away by his mom( his mom just got divorce, and this nephew of mine cannot in way accepting his mom's new found partner) and he is feeling very sad and helpless.

After listening to her, i was as helpless as my nephew, i didnt know what to do and i didnt even know how to pacify my mom. So i decided to pay her a visit after i have done my duties, and when i was there i could sense her sincere concern toward this grandson of hers, as far as i am concerned, i was telling to let this issue take its own course, i told her there was really nothing much we could do.

No matter how much i try to comfort her but i know there is just a little i can do to alleviate her worries that she has for everyone in her family.Deep inside me, i knew my mom was not at all at peace and to me there is really nothing she can do. Looks like, once you are a mother or a grandmother, forever you shall be one, you just get worried about all those who and who's problem in the family and the saddest part is her resources are limited and there is just so much so could do.

My mid 70s old mom seen here with my youngest sister

P/S : As for a mom, children are always her young and still need protection


  1. sama dengan mak i... our mums get "triggered" fast over our siblings' problems.. i also can sense my mum's being distress, the way she talks... deep inside her heart, it is still bothering her when we siblings are not united or happy... well, our kids are still young..when they have their own families, we might feel the same way.. as u said, being a mum or grandmum, she cannot do much but for her sake, we siblings should make her happy and not to have disputes with one another...

  2. dat nephew of urs; try not to directly call ur mom next time and try to talk to others first... coz like u say, there is nothing much you or your mom cud do in this situation..

  3. hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

  4. the same goes to my mum. guess all mothers are the same - they can never stop worrying.

  5. I am not sure what is your nephew's intention in calling up to your mother and report to her on whatever had happened. Isn't it too much of him to talk to your mother such things? What is his purpose, actually? Trying to get your mother into his side and create displeasure by having her sided him in that matter? I think he succeeded in achieving whatever he wanted to achieve. Making your mother worried about what had happened, and later on, your mother will start to reprimand your nephew's mother. Is that right?

    You know, I seriously think that your nephew should not have consult your mother regarding this matter, as it's not that she could do anything about it to help him, except for scold his mum for what had happened. And pray tell, what will happened after that? More family dispute and misunderstanding, because one could never really know what had really happened between the mother and son and what their real grudges are.

    Outsiders...even other immediate family members should be considered outsiders in such matters, and should not take side or interfere between what had happened between the duo. Nobody had a clear picture of what really happened, and one should not only look into the matter on just one perspective.

    And on grandmother...when one become a mother of adult children, she have to keep in mind that her children are grown up and not to interfere in their life too much. One have to learn to let go, and accept the fact that the children are now adults and also parents too. It is not right to treat grown up children like little children who are immature and incapable of making decision themselves. And whether they are happy or not in their life, it is important to respect their decisions on life. Do the other way around, the grown up children will resent em and fights will ensue. Adults do not take scolding and hate to be reprimanded, and it doesn't matter if it's the mother who does the scolding.

    I hope your mother could let go, stop being too much of a matriarch figure and instead of worrying too much over her grown up children's way of life, she should try supporting and accepting whatever had happened instead. That way, children will close the generation gap and will be closer to her. Would that not be more pleasant?

  6. Hi Bro. Parents will be parents, moms will always be moms and dads will always be dads. BTW, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY